Setting An Example of Positivity

In life somethings don’t always go your way. Unexpected things come up, life happens. This is even more true when you have young children. Sometimes you can plan everything out just right and something still goes wrong. Then there are days that you just wake up “on the wrong side of the bed” and you are in a funk the rest of the day. Maybe something happened that changed your mood or maybe you do not even know why you are in a bad mood but you are.

Today was one of those days for me. I was tired and I was woken up early by a dog that we are watching for a while. I didn’t get much sleep last night because for some reason both of the kids wanted to be awake all night. I snipped at my husband and he snipped back which made me even more mad. Aunt Flow showed up this morning and brought bad cramps and I was out of all breakfast foods. I decided to leave early for my daughters Toddler Gymnastics class so that I could get coffee. I got a call from my business partner during which I was criticized for not doing enough. The call set me back on time and I left later than I planned on. When I got to the coffee place I ordered a large Hazzlenut Late, an orange juice for my daughter, and a large muffin for us to share. I received a medium white chocolate late and no orange juice. I then proceeded to burn my tongue and be late to my daughter’s class. As I stewed in my irritation I thought about something. How does it look to my daughter when I am visibly angry? How does it make her feel? What message do I send when I make the conscious choice to be angry and stay angry and see the negative in every situation? I don’t think that it’s a god message. I want her to know that no matter what comes her way she can roll with the punches and overcome. I want her to be able to rise above negativity and be a positive, optimistic person. If I want her to be that way, I have to be that way!

So, I looked for the positives. I can apologize to my husband and do something nice for him. I can understand that his reaction to me was deserved and natural. I can be happy that I knew Aunt Flow was coming today because I chart regularly. I can be happy that I noticed that I didn’t have the orange juice before I drove away and the medium coffee saved me money. Plus the flavor was pretty good. I was not the only person late to my daughter’s class and some one was much later than me. And most importantly my daughter had a blast! As for me not doing “enough” at work. I do my best and as much as I can without sacrificing my children’s well being which is much more important to me than how someone else sees my work.

I hope that I can continue to remember this lesson so that I can set a great example for my children. I’m sure that days will come along where it doesn’t happen. I will forgive my self for those days and move on. We cannot change what is done and dwelling on what we regret gets us nowhere. We can learn from our mistakes and use that knowledge to do better in the future. This is what I hope to instil in my children.

Car Seat Safety

I remember when my daughter first graduated from her newborn car seat to an infant-toddler convertible seat. It seemed like from that point on my husband and I couldn’t wait until my daughter was “old enough” and “big enough” to be front facing. As she approached a year, which at the time was the suggested age to wait until before turning the car seat around, it seemed like we weighed her every day to see if she was 20lbs yet. At the time we were told that 20lbs was the magic weight number just as as 1 year was the magic age number. As soon as she hit that mark we turned her around. She honestly, didn’t seem to notice much to me but it did make my life easier. I could hand her stuff and get things from her so easily.

When she was about 18mo old my mother mentioned that she had read an article that stated that the new recommendation was that children remain rear facing until the age of two. I made excuses that she was fine. After all she had hit the weight requirement right? Plus it was only 6 mo. It would go by fast and then it would get turned around again anyway. Once again I made excuses and I don’t even know why.

My daughter turned 2 last month. At that point I really thought she was supposed to be forward facing now so I was good to go at this point. A little while back a saw a picture stating the safety of both rear facing and forward facing seats. I saw that the rear facing was safer but again I thought that was until age 2. My daughter is 2 so I’m good right?

That changed yesterday. I saw the same picture again and read an article from Zen Parenting. I saw a video and talked to some other moms. I immediately turned my daughter’s car seat around. She is once again rear facing and will remain that way as long as possible! I was wrong! Luckily I was never in an accident and nothing ever happened to my daughter while forward facing. i won’t make the same mistake with my son either. He too will remain rear facing as long as possible! Thank you Zen Parenting!

 

Adventures in Mommy Land: Pregnancy

Motherhood is an interesting journey. I think that is something that every mother could agree on. It is full of ups and downs. Often motherhood is just plain funny even if it may not seem so at the time. It all begins with that BFP on a pregnancy test. At that point there are many emotions and thoughts that could be running through your mind. You may be happy, relieved, excited, sad, confused, and scared. You may have been trying for a month or for 5 years or this pregnancy may have been an accident. One thing is for sure, you either just stuck a stick in your pee and had some splash back at your hand or you tried to catch it in a cup and had some splash back and or spill out on your hand so that you could stick an HPT in it and wait for those two lines. Yes motherhood begins by peeing on yourself. It may not be the last time it happens either. Between jabs and kicks to the bladder and just having a 5-10lb weight sitting on your bladder doesn’t exactly make it easy to hold it all in. Aside from peeing on yourself there are many more great moments in mommy-hood. There is that first trimester period where you look like you have a beer gut for two months and no one thinks you’re pregnant. They just assume you’ve gained a little so they try to avoid saying anything even as you glow with pride and try to stick it out further. Pregnancy: the only time in a girl’s life where she is so excited to show off her belly pooch! If you’re one of the lucky ones the first trimester will also bring projectile vomiting. I never really understood why they called it morning sickness. It can hit at night, in the afternoon, in church, on a romantic date, and even in the middle of your first trimester trans-vaginal ultrasound. But once again, as you look awful and people ask in a very concerned voice “are you ok?” because you look like you are about to die, you beam and say “I’m pregnant!” with a huge smile as if excited to be puking because it lets you know that you are indeed pregnant. Yes it’s a wonderful time. I think that is the beauty of pregnancy. Any other time in your life the above situations would be horrible but when you know that they are just one step on this great journey of motherhood they are totally bearable. I was lucky. I had two great pregnancies. I do think that pregnancy is at least in part, what you make of it. Your outlook is a huge contributor to how your pregnancy goes. I am sure that there are people who would argue with me on that and maybe they are right. I do not know. I just have to speak from my experience and the experiences of those around me. While I believe that I had a perfect and easy pregnancy both times and feel blessed that I did, that does not mean that they were without the usual pregnancy symptoms and complications. With my daughter I threw up nonstop, night and day, for two months. With my son I was just generally queezy for my entire pregnancy but I never threw up. In the third trimester of both my pregnancies my tail bone was so sore that moving from a seated position to standing was excruciating. Still I could not have been happier. I felt great! I was so excited both times. I was especially excited about my new boobs! They were huge! I was a C cup to start so they quickly reached a DD by the beginning of my third trimester both times. My husband loved them too. I looked great! Well they would have looked better if my belly didn’t stick out even further than they did but I’ll take what I can get. I mentioned that I thought my outlook contributed greatly to my pregnancy mood. I do believe that is true and I truly credit it to one thing: Hypnobabies. I did not just wake up every day and decide I would be positive. I think that would have been harder some days. Instead I listened to my Hypnobabies pregnancy Affirmations track every day. I heard and said things like “I love my pregnant body” “I am beautiful” “I feel great” “I handle any challenge with ease” and other things like that. Hearing and saying them so often made me believe them. It was so ingrained in me that it became my reality. Hypnobabies as well as the book “Painless Childbirth” by Giuditta Tornetta made the biggest difference in my pregnancies especially my last one. I am a big supporter of hypnosis and meditation during pregnancy and beyond. Even now I have the Hypnobabies “After your baby comes” track which I call the “you’re a good mommy” track. I think that it really makes a difference. So no matter what your pregnancy journey looks like. Take comfort that you are not alone in the hilarity, the struggles, and the great joy. Try to take a step back and relax when you feel overwhelmed and reach out to other pregnant women or moms who have been there. I strongly suggest using a pregnancy hypnosis or meditation regimen. Hypnobabies is also a complete childbirth education course that is designed to help women achieve a pain-free natural birth. It helped me do it and I highly recommend it! Whatever your path is though, make sure that you keep your chin up, seek help when you need it, and take time to relax EVERY DAY! Happy Pregnancy, Happy Birth!

What made your pregnancy easier? What was you favorite thing during your pregnancy? Did you use meditation or hypnosis?

The best part about parenting

This morning my daughter told me ”I love you too” when I told her I loved her. Even better, she said it twice. It was the first time that she clearly said the whole sentence at the perfect time. My heart melted. These are the moments that should be talked about most. The first time you hear your son laugh out loud with joy. The first time your daughter says ” mamma” with excitement when you come back into the room even though you were only gone a second. Especially those very first moments after birth. The first time you and your baby look into each others eyes and feel a connection that can never be topped. These are the moments that shine the brightest. Your kids will make you smile, laugh, cry (happy and sad) and change your life in ways you cannot imagine before having kids. No matter how much people try to describe it. I would not trade being a mother for anything in the world. Even now as my two year old sits next to me, squeezing my boobs and laughing as she milks me like a cow and tells me I have ”two pretty milks.” I love my kids and I love my life as a mommy!

Drawing The Line

I am saddened and outraged this morning after reading a story of a child named Nick who was forcefully removed from his home and his mother for the following reasons:

They don’t immunize.
They don’t utilize public schools.
They don’t attend church.
They don’t eat meat.
They don’t spank as a form of punishment/discipline.
They required a warrant for entry into my home.

This is disturbing to me on many levels and for many reasons. The big ones are that I have recently made similar decisions including, I will not continue to vaccinate my children. I intend to unschool. I practice attachment parenting and I would certainly require a warrant which is the legal thing to do! I wrote in another post about mothers being turned in to CPS for refusing to give formula and insist on continuing to try and breastfeed. I also recently read about a doctor who was turned into CPS for checking his own son and wife out of the hospital (he was in charge of their care) the same day that their son was born because they were both happy and healthy and ready to go home. A doctor!! I myself ran into a problem when I tried to check myself and my son out of the hospital 19 full hours after birth. We were both healthy and happy. I delivered naturally and had no tearing so I didn’t require stitches, I wasn’t on medication, my son was healthy and was to remain intact.  Homeschooling and unscholing families run into problems all of the time as well as nonvaxers. Where do we draw the line?

When do we get to make choices for our selves or our children without fear of big brother stepping in. Now I do see a need for agencies such as CPS and other child and family welfare services. However, there is a line to be drawn. The government CANNOT and SHOULD NOT EVER be allowed to force medical procedures on any adult or child against their will or the will of their parent/ guardian. No exceptions! That includes vaccines! The government CANNOT and SHOULD NOT tell you where and how you have to school your children. You have a right to homeschool, public school, private school, religious school, unscool, or any kind of school. Now to the discipline method. Attachment Parenting has been in the news a lot lately and described as crazy and extreme. I still don’t understand that. When it comes to its legality though, CPS has no grounds to interfere. CPS is there to ensure that children are not beaten, abused, neglected, molested, and forgotten. Attachment Parenting includes always responding to your children, caring for them in a gentle manner, loving them, respecting them and never intentionally doing anything to break that healthy attachment. It is out of CPS’ jurisdiction!

This really is a scary trend. The government is interfering in areas that they have no place in. Here are some things that the government has started to interfere in:

1. Homebirth: Illegal in some states now even with a CNM

2. Vaccinations: Trying to make it illegal and a matter of child welfare to not vaccinate

3. Making it illegal to drop out of school ever. And making it difficult for homeschoolers and unschoolers. I fear that unschooling will soon be made illegal or at least an attempt in that direction.

The government does not get to do this. It is time to make that clear to your local politicians. The government has begun to interfere too much. They have made too many laws and regulations. They have stopped protecting and started interfering. I am very scared about this change because of the choices I have made and plan to make in the future. Isn’t America supposed to be free? Aren’t we supposed to have more rights than other countries. We certainly don’t when it comes to maternal care, birth, and parenting. It is time to draw the line. I have!

Cleaning with kids

I once heard a funny quote (and I don’t remember who said it) that read ” cleaning the house while your kids are young is like shoveling the driveway while it is still snowing.” I laughed when I heard that because for me at least, it is completely true! I can never seem to keep up with anything. I do try but i’m not always successful. My parents suggested doing all of the cleaning for the day after the kids go to sleep. This is a nice idea but my children are in two totally different life stages and have different bed times. My toddler has kind of a late bed time but it honestly does work for me and the rest of her sleeping schedule. Because she does go to bed later though I do not want to stay awake much later than her. I do get up before her most days and I try to get some stuff done but she and my son usually wake up within a half an hour of me. From that time on my day is non stop. They do not nap at the same time and I feel that it is more important to spend time with them than it is for the house to be spotless. But it is still frustrating sometimes because I want my house to be nice all of the time and my husband REALLY wants that. How do you do it though? How do you not compromise time with your kids and get everything done too. I do try to keep up as much as possible so that I only have a little to do each day but sometimes things pile up on me. When I can I put my son in his jumper and try to get some stuff done but if he doesn’t want to be in there, i’m not going to force him. Sometimes he just wants to be held all day long no exceptions and when those days come along I know i’m not going to get much of anything done, even if I use my sleepy wrap. sometimes between the two of them its not enough. I do not know how some women always have a clean house and kids. I wish I had the secret!

My husband has been gone on and off for about 2 and a half months now. I always try my best to have the house pristine when he comes home just so that he doesn’t have to come home to a mess. He gets home from his latest trip today and I am almost totally finished with cleaning but I am worn out this week and it is taking all of me to get up and do it. On top of that my son is having an upset week due to two new teeth coming through. I know he hurts and I am doing everything I can think of to help him feel better and what he wants most is to be held by mamma. That’s fine. Again it is more important to be with my kids when they need or want me than to have a clean house but I want both! I guess I will just learn as I go and as my kids grow. Hopefully I’ll find my perfect combination and balance.